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Are you afraid to have what you want?
Something that keeps showing up for me and my clients is the experience that the closer you get to creating what you really want, the scarier things become.
Do you find this to be true?<
Why is this?
It is because the act of creation is to break open into something more alive, and simultaneously, to step closer to the potential loss that might come with it.
To make a courageous appearance in the world means accepting that if you really express your brilliance, embrace your value, your truth, your joy, and allow yourself to have more, love more, and BE more, you will also have to get closer to the reality that it won’t be what you thought it would be or that you could lose it once you have it.
Two weeks ago, I realized a dream I’ve had for over 15 years—to go skiing at Whistler/Blackcomb in British Columbia. Not only did I create the experience of actually skiing on that mountain, something I’d imagined in my mind for a very long time, I also had to face the fact that it wasn’t what I imagined and that while I’d gained this experience, I’d also lost something.
My body was completely out of shape. My feet cramped, my legs burned, I got scared to make my first turn in a few steep bowls and chutes. I cried, no—actually wailed—more than once, and wondered a few times if I was actually going to be able to get down the mountain. This was not what I imagined or wanted.
The truth is, I haven’t skied in over two years and have only been a handful of times in the last six years.
The tears were not just about the physical pain I was feeling (although it was pretty bad). They were tears for the loss of the skier I once was.
I was a badass skier at a mountain (Teton Village in Jackson Hole, Wyoming) that posts this sign in multiple locations:
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The first time I skied that mountain, I cried, yelled obscenities, and asked myself, “Why am I doing this? I hate this!!” I almost had ski patrol come and take me down in a toboggan.
But I didn’t. I got down, in misery, and when I got to the car and got my boots off, I was already thinking about when I would come back.
I kept coming back and it got easier. I became the high-level skier that I wanted to be and I learned to shred every inch of that mountain. And I LOVED it!
Even then, in order to become that badass skier I wanted to be, I had to face the reality that I could, and likely would, lose my way, my mind, my composure, my life, my comfort, and also the lovely idea of being a badass if I couldn’t really hack it.
In doing it, I gained more than I ever could have imagined.
I learned how to make my first turn even when the wind is blowing so hard I have to lean into it to stand up straight, even when I can’t see a thing and don’t know where I’m going, and even when I’m terrified in a steep chute with cliff on both sides.
I learned that using just my body to float down a mountain in a symbiotic relationship to gravity, bouncing through trees, or speeding as fast as a car around a wide open curve makes me feel ALIVE, especially because I could catch an edge and lose it all at any moment.
Skiing became one of the most important experiences and metaphors for my life.
At Whistler, I got to have what I’ve wanted for a long time, AND I had to lose the badass I once was.
Both then and now, I got to become someone who makes her dreams come true and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
When you have more, you have more to lose. It’s true.
It’s also true that you still have to get on the big mountain of your desire and create what’s in your heart to create.
Sure it’s dangerous. Of course there is risk. You will fall.
You might even go off a cliff and break something…
No matter what, I guarantee you will break open into something more alive!
It is indeed going to be like nothing you have ever experienced before. That is the point!
Whether you are creating on or off the page, you must give your special mountain the respect it deserves!
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What is your mountain?
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And check out the Upcoming Whimsical Word Events (see below).
Remember, it’s riding the edge between gain and loss that makes the creative journey magical and miraculous!
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Upcoming Whimsical Word Events:
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Authentic Writing: Reveal the powerful, real and brilliant YOU in your own language!
May 10th 10:00–12:30, The Hivery, Mill Valley, CA<
If you are someone who wants to have the brilliant, heart-centered, true and real you show up and simply flow out in everything you do, both on and off the page, and you find yourself stuck, unsure, constrained or withheld even when you know there’s something powerful waiting to burst out, then this workshop is for you. CLICK HERE for more info & to register!
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1-Day Retreat–Discover Your Book’s Heartbeat and Bring It To Life!
May 24th 9:00–4:30, JW Marriott,
San Francisco, CA
Do you know you have a BIG MESSAGE for the world, yet you keep delaying getting it out there because there is always something else to do first or something that holds you back? If you’ve ever had the thought of writing a book, sharing your deeper stories on a blog, or crafting a business out of your life’s insights, this 1-day experience is perfect for you! CLICK HERE for more info & to register!
Discounted price available for a short time! Reserve your spot now!