Last week I was live on FB sharing the 4-Steps to Living in FLOW on and off the page. In service of really sharing what flow is all about I want to tell you about what happened after that video.
When I hit the “Done” button and went off the air, I felt totally sick to my stomach. I was sick with judgment. I literally sat and cried and coughed for several minutes. “I just want to go hide under a rock” was what I said out loud. It was painful, so very painful. This is how strong my inner critic and my mind of perfection is.
I got off that video feeling like I had rambled, that I didn’t say what I wanted, that I wasn’t clear, that no one would “get” me, and that I blew it because I didn’t share this powerful download and teaching that came through me and that I felt amazed by in the way that I had envisioned. On and on my critic went and could have gone, until I took a step closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her and welcomed her. This was me taking step #2 of Living in Flow–Let the Pain In.
I let it in because I knew it was the heart of my resistance. I knew that moving away from it, avoiding it, or letting it talk me into never doing a FB Live video again was the very thing that has kept me from living the big life I KNOW deep down in my bones I am here to live.
When I let the pain in, I became the energy of forgiveness (Step 3) because I allowed that part of me—my fear of inadequacy and my humanness to flow through. AND I also felt the living truth in my body that by doing the video I had allowed my brilliance to flow through.
When I shared this experience the next morning, someone very wisely asked me: Could it also be that you were sick with seeing your brilliance so beautifully displayed?
Yes…yes…that too…
Forgiveness IS to offer no resistance to life—to allow life through you. The pain and the brilliance. This is FLOW. And this is what has me awake to the miracle of who I am today.
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That day wrote three drafts for blogs/articles, wrote a new piece in my book, made some decisions I’ve been resisting making, and connected deeply with the clients who are in my ALIVE Book Writing Program. And I’ve received many lovely comments about how what I shared in my video yesterday touched or opened up things for people, which affirms that we are not meant to be the judge of our own work. Our only job is to let it through.
This place of pain that appeared so strongly in my face yesterday is the ONLY thing that keeps me hidden, falsely “safe” and out of flow. Showing up to it, walking, videoing, crying and coughing my way through it is the gateway to living in flow and waking up to the miracle of my creativity and who I am (Step 4 of Living in FLOW ☺).
And it can be YOURS too.
How is this true for you? Does it resonate?
I look forward to continuing this conversation. You can click here to watch last week’s video.
Please share in the comments or Personal Message me. I know I’m not alone in this and I want to connect with your truth and experience of it so you too know you are not alone in this.
I want to connect to the energy and vision and prayer of what we can co-create if we are all Living in our FLOW!
It is the very thing that makes us so beautifully and brilliantly human.
May you know, live and express your brilliance!
Love,
Sam
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